Garrett Leon McConnell

Garrett Leon McConnell was born on September 05, 1980 at Johnson City Medical Center in Johnson City, TN!  My firstborn child!  He was so beautiful!!  He was so healthy and strong!!  All 10 Fingers and Toes, no breathing issues, nothing wrong!!  He looked like he was going to a boxing match in that hospital pic that they take when they are a couple of days old!  That was only the beginning!  My son, Garrett, would prove to be a champion at everything he did.  When it came to sports, he was a force to be reckoned with!!  He was walking at 9 months old and into everything.  Before we knew it, he was running out the door every time my back was turned!  He could be very difficult to keep up with AND sometimes very difficult in general.  He didn't want to be held, didn't like hugs or kisses, just wanted to be down in the floor to explore the world.  And that he did.  This is the story of my son, Garrett.  I will be filliing in the blanks when I can.  Sometimes it is difficult to write about him, the tears come very easy since he left us.  I have not been the same since that sad, sad day in March, 2013.  I thought my son would live forever.  Well, when I say forever, I was hoping that he would outlive me.  All I ever wanted for both of my sons (Garrett and Matthew) is for them to be safe, for them to be honest and treat everyone equally AND for them to have a good life, a better life than I had.  I have always told them......."Do the right thing"!!!!!  For the most part, they have.  I am proud of both of them. 

We (I) brought home a baby brother for Garrett.  His name was Matthew and he was just as beautiful as his big brother.  I will never forget his reaction.  I said....."Garrett, honey, come and see your baby brother.  He walked over, kinda shrugged, then ran outside to play.  I don't think he was very happy about sharing his space with someone else.  He wanted to be the "ONE".  It made me feel a little bad.  He didn't ask any questions, didn't want to hold him or help with him, he just wanted to go outside and play.  But, over the years, that did change.  Although very different, Garrett and Matthew loved one another very much.  Both of them went to great lengths to protect one another.  Garrett was loyal to everyone in his family.  He would do anyhing for us  God, I miss that child. 

Garrett Leon McConnell graduated from Science Hill High School!!!

It was the day after Christmas, 2009.  I remember it as though it were yesterday.  I remember exactly where I was sitting in my Delaware apartment when he called.  Garrett was calling me from a hospital in Scottsdale, AZ........he was very ill but he sounded good on the phone.  He blurted out........"I HAVE CANCER" ......like it was just another thing!?!?  I honestly thought he was kidding me.  Garrett was famous for playing tricks on us to make us laugh.  He was always coming up with something to make you think!  .  But this time I didn't laugh, I said No, You don't, that is not funny.  Then he seriously said, yeah Mom, they said I have cancer.  It is Lymphoma (I had never even heard of Lymphoma) and I will be going to the hospital in CA for treatment.  Then I woke up!  It was real!  My strong, athletic, healthy son had cancer.  I could not believe it.  I immediately tried to let the family know, then i went into research mode.  I was determined to find out everything that i could about this stupid lymphoma and we were going to beat it!  Together, ALL of us!  And then I cried, alone in my apartment, I cried for him.  I will never forget that day.  It was not one of his best days.  I had such high hopes though.  I believed that if this cancer was beatable, my son could beat it.  He NEVER let a challenge get him down.  Not my son.  Not a good day.    I knew he was sick when he sent the photo below.  Garrett had never been so skinny in his life.  I remember thinking that i didn't like the beard on him, but it wasn't really the beard.  I knew something else was wrong. 

  One of the happiest days of his life.  Although he had been fighting his cancer, chemotherapy, radiation, etc,, I can honestly say that this date was one of the happiest days of his entire life.  He and Lauren had a baby girl.  Her name was Kathryn Kay McConnell!  She was perfect!  And she was beautiful, she actually looked exactly like (and still does) her daddy.  Although Garrett told me many times over the years that he did not want children because he was too selfish to take care of someone else, that little girl changed his views and his world completely.  She was the light of his life - he fell in love with her immediately!  I remember going to spend a week with he and Lauren and he beamed with pride. Although Garrett was battling the toughest days of his life, he would wake up at night and just stand there and look at her sleeping.  I would wake up to see him with a big smile on his face, he waited for her to wake up just so he could hold her or play with her.  It was truly amazing to see how that little girl transformed Garrett from a guy who didn't want children to a guy who would fight the world for this child.  And, sadly, there were times that he did have to fight for his rights as a father, while he was fighting for his own life.  He postponed his treatment and his health so that he could try to work and provide for his little girl.  He wanted to be a better man than his father, so he was determined to do the right thing.  I have never been so proud of my son, he was a true champion and a hero! 

July 31, 2011......that is the day I flew out to California to be with Garrett.  He called me the day before as he was walking home from the hospital, yes, WALKING HOME from the hospital.  They had given him all kinds of meds to take home with him - they had placed a port in his chest and his voice was so hoarse that it broke my heart.  He made it home okay but I just couldn't understand why no one would be there to take him home.  It was around 6am his time, 9am my time.  I started to cry, because i couldn't stand the thought of him being alone like that, battling this stupid cancer, having to go in and out of the hospital, WHY WAS HE ALONE??????  I couldn't stop crying, so the next day, July 31st, I flew out to CA from DE to be with my son.  I didn't know how long I would be there.  I didn't really plan it.  I had told his Mamaw that I was going to go and be with him when he needed me, and I felt like now more than ever, he needed me.  No one should ever have to walk home from the hospital alone, no one should ever have to wake up alone when they are so sick.  Why was this happening to my beautiful son???  My son had always been so strong, and he was still trying to be strong, still trying to do it on his own, like he always had in life.  But this time I wasn't going to let him.  This time I was going to be with him whether he thought he needed help or not.  No one in this world should ever have to fight a battle with cancer ALONE!  And my son wasn't going to either.  I was going to be there for him, regardless of the outcome.  So, from that day forward, I was there with my son, in California, and it was a decision I will never regret.  He was there to meet me at the airport, playful as always, pretending as though everything was normal, and I was finally with him, and stayed with him 24/7 until the last day, March 04, 2013...I am happy that I was able to be with him, through the bad and the good days, we had some good times together, and there were some very difficult days for him that I will never forget, but I got to be with him and that's what mattered to me.  He was not alone.  My boy would never be alone again.  I miss him. 

Garrett took his last breath at 3:50 pm today.  He passed away at UCLA, Santa Monica, CA with myself and his daughter, her mother (Lauren) and a couple of his close friends from California.  It was the saddest day of my life.  Although we were told by the doctors that there was nothing more they could do, after the multiple different chemotherapies and drugs they tried, it still is not real to me that he left us so soon.  It is like I was in a daze, because I remember trying to let all of his friends know that he didn't have much time left, and I called Lauren and asked her to bring KK, but I was not truly ready for him to leave.  I think I went into shock after he passed.  I could not function for the longest time.  For several months, all I did was cry.  I couldn't work, I couldn't think, I couldn't function.  I am just now beginning to be able to get through a day without crying for hours at a time.  I still miss him more than anything in this world, and I will never let his memory die.  That is why I have created this website, and have kept his Facebook page going, because I strongly believe that his life meant so much to so many people.  My son was a Godsend.  He was my heart, and my heart is now broken in two.  I still have my youngest son, who the other side of my heart is reserved for, and I still have my grandchildren, Kathryn, his daughter, who we now know was truly a miracle.  I know if there is a heaven that my son is one of God's angels who is shining bright and bringing smiles to everyone around him, just as he did when he was here on earth with us.  May my son rest in peace and continue to inspire others with his bravery and good heart.